Note: This article has been excerpted from Handling Tragedy in Your Small Group, a SmallGroups.com Survival Guide.
Real life doesn’t wait outside while we attend our small group meetings. Fortunately, a small group is a place where burdens can be shared and often will be shared. But what happens when the really big problems hit? At what point do group members move beyond listening and praying for group members in trouble and move toward offering concrete help?
One example is when a group member faces a financial crisis—perhaps the loss of a job, falling behind on a mortgage, getting into serious debt, and so on. What should the group do? What should the group not do?
There is no step-by-step manual for a situation like this, but there are some definite guidelines that can be very helpful to both the group and the group member in crisis.
Identifying the Need
When a group member shares a financial crisis, the first thing the group must do is give the individual a chance to share openly about the particulars of the situation—what led to the crisis, what circumstances were beyond control, what overspending or imprudent behavior may have contributed, what are the likely eventualities and consequences of the current crises, and what resources might be explored.
In this situation, it’s particularly important that the group recommit to their covenant of confidentiality. Financial losses, particularly to the breadwinner in a family, can be shattering emotionally and psychologically, as well as practically. Gossip about such matters is sin; it is harmful to the church community as well as to the individual.
It’s also important that the group demonstrate genuine care to the person or family in need. The Bible tells us we are to “weep with those who weep”; what this means most of all is that we imagine how we would feel in the other’s place. If we are able to walk a mile in the other person’s shoes, we will be better equipped to show and speak our true and deeply felt sympathy for the pain of the current moment. We do this without any predictions of the future or attempts at explaining it away. We simply say, “This is so hard, and I am so sorry you’re suffering through this. I care so much for you.”
One thing that a small group can offer is a reminder that economic success or failure is not a measure of a man or woman in God’s eyes, nor is it a measure of the bounty and grace of God. A struggling person suffers more when made to think that some spiritual failing has caused the problem or is made to question the provision of God. A lot of false ideas and principles have seeped into our culture in recent years—ideas and principles that might lead one to believe that financial success is a measure of God’s favor. Having a group member suffer financially is an opportunity for the group to explore Scripture’s teachings on these aspects of our faith walk.
Once the situation has been shared and heard, it is critical for the group to pray to God together, asking for grace and wisdom not just for the person experiencing the need, but for the entire group. Pray that all of you might know how best to be helpful.
