Group members are going to exit your group and never come back. Sometimes, this is because they just didn’t find a fit; other times, it’s because they’re moving to another city or town. Sometimes, they just got angry and have chosen not to reconcile with someone else. There are many reasons for someone exiting a small group. No matter what the situation, doing the right things when a group member leaves is important. I would suggest the following.
Small Group Leader, if you do these things you’ll help the exiting group members feel honored, gain valuable information to help you in your leadership, give the group closure, and establish being missional as a primary group value.
First…Enjoy a meal with the person or persons leaving the group. While eating, just relax and enjoy one another’s company. At some point, ask the exiting group member/members if they’d mind if you learned from their experience in the group. Ask them three questions.
- What did you enjoy about the group?
- In your opinion, what could the group do better?
- How can we pray for you as you exit the group?
Pray with them right there at the table, thanking God for the time you had with them and for the friendship that has been established. Also, be sure to pray for the topics they mentioned when you asked how you could pray for them. Thank them for what they brought to group life while in the group and ask permission to do what I’m suggesting below.
Secondly…At their last meeting with the group, celebrate the time spent together by allowing group members to speak words of affirmation to the exiting group members. Then have the group lay hands on them and pray for them as they go to be ambassadors for Christ in a different setting.
Finally…As soon as possible, fill the chairs they left open with others. There are those who need what your group can offer. Don’t wait. The week after the transitioning group members are no longer with you, begin to discuss and pray about who will take their places. This establishes that the group is outward focused and makes group life possible for some other deserving people.