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Connecting With a Guys Small Group

I know it’s cliché but most men are more “doers” than “processors” –  which means the average guy would rather do an activity with another guy than sit in a café and discuss their feelings. Most of us who lead small groups are process-guys, which would explain why we like coffee shops and don’t mind talking about how we feel. With all that being said, here are some things you can do with guys to help them connect.

  • Watch sports or go to a game together. Many guys will talk about challenges at work while eating wings and watching the game. They just need the distraction of sports to help get them to open up.
  • Work on a project together. That might mean you help build a deck, cut down a tree, or hang siding. Even if you’re all thumbs, if your friend is handy, you can hold the tools.
  • Go to a show together. No, not a Broadway show – but a boat show, a car show, or a gun and knife show. Some type of show where you walk around, look at “manly” stuff, and talk.
  • Go to a Coffee shop and talk. OK, I just told you lots of guys don’t want to do that. But keep in mind all guys aren’t the same. Some guys hunt, some guys hunt for good deals at the outlet mall. Some guys can’t verbalize their feelings and some guys can. But nearly every guy likes coffee. So sit at a coffee shop with a couple of guys and see what happens.
  • Grill something together. Steaks or hot dogs – it doesn’t matter. Standing around a grill, while overcooking meat, get’s more guys to open up about life than nearly any other context.
  • Serve together. This is essentially the same as working on a project together but this time you’re all serving someone else out. Instead of helping out a buddy, you’re helping out someone in need.

Those are several ways you can build community OUTSIDE of your normal group time.

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billsearch@churchleaders.com'
Bill Search describes himself as a “thirty-something minister whose job it is to make a big church feel small.” Bill writes a popular small group blog and authored a book entitled Simple Small Groups: A User-Friendly Guide for Small Group Leaders.