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Have You Had Your DTR Conversation?

The kids are back in school—or will be very soon. You’ve held your fantasy football draft. The grill is soon to go into hibernation. Labor Day is upon us. And your small group is ready to get back into ryhthm.

Have you had the conversation? Have you Defined The Relationship with your small group members? Are they committed to another year of study, prayer, and doing life together?

I spoke with a longtime small group leader this week who did just this. He fired up his grill, threw on some burgers and brats, enjoyed a time of catching up, sharing summer vacation stories, and talking about the new school year. That’s when he sprung it on them—“Are you interested in coming back for another year of small group?”

The leader’s question wasn’t one of intrusion. It’s wasn’t pressure packed or guilt inducing. It was simply an attempt to get a handle on what his small group looks like moving forward. Who’s in? Who’s out? Who’s interested in continuing to develop relationships within your small group? Who’s feeling the nudge to move onto another Christ-centered community?

As each group partcipant shared his/her level of interest, or lack therof, in returning for another year of small group life, the leader had a clearer picture of what people were looking for in the coming year. Now, he’s in a better place to lead, shepherd, and serve. (One couple even got emotional about how much they missed the relationships during the group’s summer hiatus.)

Have you had your DTR conversation? Go ahead. It can give you much-needed direction for the upcoming ministry year ahead.

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robbentz@churchleaders.com'
Rob Bentz, is a pastor at Woodmen Valley Chapel in Colorado Springs, CO and the author of The Unfinished Church: God’s Broken and Redeemed Work-In-Progress a recent release by Crossway.