Being a Small Group Member

For the most part… for the first time in over 25 years, I’m not leading a small group. My wife and I are about to move to a new neighborhood where we’re going to take on our neighborhood with the goal of starting multiple groups in that neighborhood. We’ll be viewing our subdivision as our ministry. Until the move takes place, I’m an average small group member.

 
There are a few things I’ve learned in this non-leadership role that may help some small group leaders.
 
1. Making group members feel welcome is vital. Our group leader is fantastic at this. The moment I enter the room I know he’s glad I’m there. He welcomes me graciously and asks about my life. It feels as though I’m more to him than just another attendee at one of his group meetings.
 
2. Draw me into the conversation. Most of us want to be heard but, if we’re not careful we sit quietly because we’ll either think someone will perceive us as the group, “know-it-all” or we think we’ll say something stupid. Drawing someone into the conversation by making sure they know no answer is stupid and that everyone’s input is welcomed, makes me want to be there. This kind of comment instills an environment of grace more than a conversational environment. By creating an environment of grace everyone may join the conversation.
 
3. Deal with the overly talkative person. There are few things as frustrating as having an overly talkative person in the group. They keep there from being a substantial conversation as people are internally frustrated and externally checking out. When overly talkative types are not dealt with, group members may not want to come back next week.
 

4. Use the Bible as the focus of the discussion. Most of us realize that opinions are helpful. But no opinion is as important at God’s. In fact, as I’ve said in blog posts before, His truth is always right. I am so very proud to have a group leader who uses the Bible when a life question comes up or we’re seeking out understanding. Mining for Gods’ truth is an excursion I’ll show up for every time.

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rhowerton@churchleaders.com'
Rick has one passion… To see “a biblical small group within walking distance of every person on the planet making disciples that make disciples.” He is presently pursuing this passion as the Small Group and Discipleship Specialist at LifeWay Church Resources. Rick has authored or co-authored multiple books, studies, and leader training resources including A Different Kind of Tribe: Embracing the New Small Group Dynamic, Destination Community: Small Group Ministry Manual, The Gospel and the Truth: Living the Message of Jesus, Small Group Life Ministry Manual: A New Approach to Small Groups, Redeeming the Tears: a Journey Through Grief and Loss, Small Group Life: Kingdom, Small Group Kickoff Retreat: Experiential Training for Small Group Leaders, and Great Beginnings: Your First Small Group Study, Disciples Path: A Practical Guide to Disciple Making. Rick’s varied ministry experiences as an collegiate minister, small group pastor, teaching pastor, elder, full-time trainer and church consultant, as well as having been a successful church planter gives him a perspective of church life that is all-encompassing and multi-dimensional. Rick is a highly sought after communicator and trainer.