Home Voices The Exchange 3 Ways to Come Alongside Fathers Grieving a Miscarriage

3 Ways to Come Alongside Fathers Grieving a Miscarriage

What does in mean to “adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus?” (Philippians 2:5). It means we will look not to our own interests, but to the flourishing of our friend. This requires that we see and understand their suffering and need. Understanding comes through being present and patience, asking benevolent questions, listening carefully, and developing sympathy. Understanding their needs, we sacrifice ourselves to meet them. This may mean giving our time, mowing the lawn, changing the oil, running errands, sitting in silence, organizing a gathering of friends, covering for them at work, offering a hug, and speaking the truth in love.

3. Remind Him of the Gospel.

Our presence and our service are good gifts; Jesus commands us to give them to those in need. Nevertheless, they are insufficient gifts. Only the presence and service of Jesus Christ is sufficient to serve, comfort, heal, and cheer them in ways that will never end. Remind your friend that Jesus is the Suffering Servant. Jesus carried our griefs and sorrows; he knows what it feels like to mourn. Remind your friend that, throughout his life, Jesus served those who mourn. Tell him again that Jesus loves him, died for him, rose for him, is with him, and will never forsake him. Read stories from the gospels with him. Pray with him. Take him to the one who catches and counts his tears, and who promises to wipe each one away.

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Eric Schumacher is the author of "Ours: Biblical Comfort for Men Grieving Miscarriage." Eric is a pastor, author, and songwriter. He authored the novella "My Last Name," and co-authored "Worthy and Jesus & Gender" with Elyse Fitzpatrick. Eric received his MDiv from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He lives in Iowa with his wife and five children. Find him online at emschumacher.com.