Healing
Whether driven by impulsivity, passive-aggression, some unmet need or addiction, and then fueled by denial, the answer to these problems is the same: we must assist our clients to honestly “hold space” for troubled feelings, emotional or physical temptation, and listen. They must listen carefully to their feelings, honestly addressing their unhappiness to determine what is happening inside of them so they can make sense of their inner world and create healthy choices.
Our clients must be helped to hold the tension between the various voices (impulses) in their heads, clamoring for attention. Listening earnestly to their feelings, their mates’ feelings, and others in their world, they can pause and reflect, consider what is happening, and make positive choices. Responding, instead of reacting, gives them more control over their inner lives and what is happening around them, bringing healthy connection to others, as well as their sense of self. This leads to greater self-control, healthy self-confidence, and positive changes.
We must also teach our clients and congregants to live authentically and transparently. Sin and sexual acting out prosper in the dark… in secret places. It is critical that our clients live openly, transparently, and with accountability. They must talk to others about their motives, thoughts, and temptations. They must surround themselves with people who will peer into their lives and offer needed guidance. They must invite critical feedback so they can grow.
Those who truly wish to avoid falling into temptation must recognize their vulnerabilities and make choices accordingly. Staying sexually safe means remaining clear of dangerous people, places, and circumstances. Our clients need to know what those areas are in their lives.
We, as counselors, have the opportunity to offer needed guidance to those who are acting out sexually, as well as those who have been victimized by these behaviors. Often, we are invited into people’s lives at their most desperate moments. As such, we have an opportunity and obligation to be ready to offer wise, godly counsel.
This article originally appeared in Christian Counseling Today, Vol. 23 No. 1. Christian Counseling Today is the flagship publication of the American Association of Christian Counselors. To learn more about the AACC, click here.
