Death by Comment Card

Death by comment card would come every Monday morning. The comment cards were processed for our 10 AM staff meetings. All staff, including support staff, saw these cards. Some of the most important items would be there to follow up on such as prayer requests, first-time attendees, and spiritual decisions. But, there would also be the dreaded notes about worship services. It seemed we trained our congregation to actually vote and communicate through a suggestion box rather than face-to-face dialog.

This pinnacled the day when a board member began putting his unhappy notes about worship on the cards for all the staff to read. It took some coaxing, but I finally sat down with him in the Christian version of Switzerland–i.e., Starbucks–for a chat. It is amazing how we as people change our tone, wording, and stance when facing people in real life. It was a fruitful talk, even though I realized that I could not satisfy him since I was following the pastor’s orders that he did not agree with. A tight rope is what many worship leaders have to walk.

In another church, one of my favorite comment cards had a drawing of a baby crying and said, “The music so loud it makes Jesus cry.” No joke. On top of the hand drawn illustration, there was an additional letter stapled that clarified exactly how worship services were to be designed, including directives on decibel levels. My cell phone number was public. In that setting I had the ability to easily chat before or after services or during the week. Instead, the comment card came my way. I guess it would have been harder to describe baby Jesus crying in person.

In the past, I have heard everything from how evil synthesizers are to how women should not show wear open-toed shoes on the platform. “Don’t make us stand.” “It is too loud.” And, another on the same weekend would say, “It does not rock enough, turn it up.” “You (worship leader) do not look like you are worshipping.” To the wonderfully political, “Many of my friends have been saying…” You cannot please everyone. In fact, most know this. We only really think of ourselves first, even though this is not our goal as Christians.

Pastors who help their worship leaders filter feedback are a gift to both their worship leader and their congregation. Feedback is critical. But, living on the whim of everyone’s preference breeds insanity and keeps a church immature. Conflict is good, but it is what we do with everyone not getting their way that matters. How many style-themed venues you launch, or multiple services you lead will not solve immaturity.