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10 Politically Incorrect Reasons Why We’re Still Married

Emily and I celebrated our anniversary a week early this year. We just returned from an all-inclusive resort in Cancun. We’ve been married for 22 years. We started dating about six years before that. We were friends for about three years before that.

In other words, we’ve been together a long time.

I’m learning time really doesn’t matter. I’ve had friends who have been together for longer than us and found themselves in a marriage mess. Fortunately, we have a God that forgives and reconciles and promises hope. Since that’s not our story, though, I’m not the best person to write that article.

What I can write about is the intentionality Emily and I have embraced to be friends for over 30 years and married for as long as we have.

Some of this advice is pretty unpopular in today’s world. Some of it is politically incorrect in secular circles or taboo in Christian circles.

Honestly, I don’t care. I’ve seen too many marriages blow up to hold back. With that in mind, here are …

10 Politically Incorrect Reasons Why We’re Still Married

1. We put our spouse’s needs ahead of our own needs.

From what we’ve learned, our basic needs are different from each other. The book His Needs, Her Needs is a great book to begin this conversation.

2. We’ve made our physical appearance a priority.

Neither one of us would admit to being “10s” by any stretch of the imagination, but we want to look sexy for each other. We work at it.

That includes eating right, exercise, clothes, hair, etc. For example, Emily and I have made a pact — she decides what my hair looks like, and I decide what her hair looks like. Again, we prioritize the needs of our spouse.

3. We’ve embraced traditional roles.

I work outside the home, and Emily works inside the home.

Does that mean we’re against couples who try to juggle two jobs outside the home? Absolutely not.

For Emily, though, she gains significance through being a great wife, mother and home manager. That’s a full-time job. Since she owns that role, it relieves quite a bit of stress that we know other couples have to navigate.

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Tony is the Chief Strategic Officer and founder of The Unstuck Group. For 14 years, Tony served on the senior leadership teams at West Ridge Church (Dallas, GA), NewSpring Church (Anderson, SC) and Granger Community Church (Granger, IN). He's written several books and articles that have been featured with the Willow Creek Association, Catalyst and Pastors.com.