8. We enjoy wine together.
(My unchurched friends won’t understand why this is politically incorrect. Trust me. It is with church people.)
In other words, we don’t let religious people define how we live our lives, including our marriage. We let God’s Word direct our lives.
Because of that, who we are publicly is who we are privately. We don’t have to pretend to be someone we’re not. We can be ourselves with each other and with everyone we do life with. There’s a lot of freedom in that.
9. We never meet alone or publicly with a member of the opposite sex.
I don’t have meals alone with another woman. I won’t travel alone (even in a car) with another woman. I won’t meet a woman alone in an office without windows or without an open door. (My consulting clients can verify this.)
This protects both of us from the temptations we all face. These protections help us avoid mistakes that would reduce the freedoms we have in our marriage. We’re not willing to sacrifice that for a momentary inconvenience.
10. We’re committed to a covenant where divorce is not an option.
For Emily and me, that means we need to work at loving each other. We don’t wait for love to happen — we work at it.
We need to discipline our lives to avoid mistakes that could end our marriage. We prioritize our faith, because that creates order for the rest of our lives, including our marriage.
Since we both agreed to fulfill this covenant ‘til death do us part, we have confidence that, even when marriage is difficult, we will persevere.
I know. Some of this sounds really shallow. Some of this sounds impractical. Some of this sounds inappropriate. I hope it challenges your thinking and generates some healthy conversation with your spouse.
Let’s choose integrity. Let’s choose to stay married.
