- One, or even a few, violations isn’t the point. I’ll ask someone to step down if there is an ongoing pattern. And that isn’t ever a full, final “see you later.” Love them. Care for them.
- Massive confrontation must follow other, numerous, smaller conversations.
- Prioritize clear, constant communication. When people know what is expected, they will most often do it.
- Does your team know that you care about them? That’s important for confrontations like this.
Are you ready? Let’s go.
Six Reasons for Confronting a Worship Team Member
I’m hoping this post will help you process why, when and how to approach this difficult experience of church staff problems we all face.
1. Lack of Respect for Leadership—Something I look for in a high pressure rehearsal setting is the “rolled eye.” If a musician rolls their eyes and is very defensive when I make a musical suggestion, I confront it. I tell the musician that I have the bigger picture in mind and I’m making decisions based on what will serve the church in the best possible way. But “lack of respect” can work itself out in many ways. You know it when you see it.
2. Gossip—There are few things I hate more than gossip when it comes to being on a team. A great team values honesty, openness and respect. For example, if you have a problem, man up and come to me rather than taking the easy way out and talking to others.
The definition of gossip is talking about a problem with someone who can’t be a part of the solution. I love what Andy Stanley says: We need to be private critics and public praisers. We can disagree and work things out in private, but when it comes to talking about our ministry publicly, we get behind the vision even when it hurts.
3. Being Unprepared—Does your team have a culture of excellence here on this team where practice is personal and rehearsal is relational? When we step into a rehearsal environment, we’re not there to learn but to flow and connect. If a musician isn’t ready once (or even a few times), we talk about it and work on it. If it’s a constant, ongoing problem, it can’t be allowed to continue because it’s not fair to the rest of team.
A team is where each member carries their weight. Sometimes a musician simply doesn’t have the time to invest the effort that’s needed. That’s understandable. But don’t bow your standards for individual members. Keep building your culture of excellence.
4. Not Being “All In”—I love it when my team members are “all in”—no matter what we’re doing as a team, they are there. To be a part of a team means to contribute and show up when the team is doing something together. I can understand if on occasion people can’t make it because of prior commitments. But if there’s a pattern of disconnection, that’s where the problem is. Also, being a part of “the church” means to show up even if you’re not in the band. That’s just a healthy move for someone’s walk with God.
5. Bad Performance—One of the toughest conversations is asking a team member to step down whom you already approved. But I know this is on the to-do list of many worship leaders. My reasoning here is distraction—you want to remove what is distracting people from worship.
That could be a musician who makes constant, ongoing mistakes during service. Or it could be a vocalist whose vocal tone draws too much attention and is painful to listen to. For some tips on having this conversation, refer to this post.
6. Self-Centeredness—Nobody wants to be around a self-absorbed, overly critical, argumentative person. Sure, there will be personality clashes at times. But a person who can’t get along with others will bring the whole ship down. Coach your team members on how you want them to relate and connect with each other—to appreciate each other’s musicianship, gear and approach to music.
Here’s the bottom line: You can’t expect from people what you don’t cast vision for.
If they don’t know what they’re doing is wrong, you haven’t communicated well. I would teach on these potential church staff problems in an inspiring, fun way. Make your team excited about the vision of working together. Do all you can up front to avoid a ton of issues on the back end.
