4. Set a schedule.
Life has a way of sucking time from us. It becomes very difficult for busy couples, especially once children come along, to find time to be together. And yet it’s critical. Don’t neglect your time together. We would set a routine of intentional weekly time for just the two of us.
5. Limit outside interruptions.
In-laws. Friends. Work. They can all get in the way. Sure, they love you. They want their time with you. But let’s be honest—some of them also want to control your life. Don’t believe that other people will work to protect your marriage as much as you will. They won’t. The two of you are creating one unit. If we were starting over, we would guard our marriage from any undue pressure.
6. Be active in church.
Sounds selfish. I admit that. But it’s also being strategic. You need community and especially a healthy community that can be there for you when things go wrong. And things will go wrong. You’ll need a community of faith around you. And you won’t know how much you need them until you need them. We would—and we did—commit to a strong church community.
7. Talk.
Lots. Many times couples become so comfortable with one another that they fail to communicate at deeper levels. This becomes very common in the first years of a marriage. Routines and familiarity set in and the couple assumes they already know all there is to know about each other. I have talked to so many couples who just don’t communicate anymore. Or one spouse thinks they do and the other spouse thinks they don’t. They don’t share the details of each other’s day and life—their deeper, unspoken thoughts. The better you learn to communicate—the stronger the marriage will be. The best way to improve communication is with practice. We would practice this one a lot.
Of course, I’m pretty sure it’s not too late on any of these—even if you’re past the first seven years.
Those are just a few suggestions. Do you have more?
