There are a lot angry people in our world.
One of my life mentors used to say: “Anger always needs a host.” In other words, people who are angry will often unload their frustration and pain upon others (whether or not it’s intentional). This is human nature.
Add to this reality the anonymity of something like the internet and you’re bound to see rage continue to rise. I liken it to the angry drivers that honk and attempt to stare you down whenever you make a mistake on the road (as if they’ve NEVER done the very thing you’re “guilty” of). I remember reading studies a few years ago about the rise of road rage (yes, I live in LA!) and how the lack of eye contact between drivers fueled the anger. In other words, it was easier to get angry at another human being when you couldn’t see them.
I think it’s worse online because you can hide behind an avatar or screen name. It’s a lot easier to be mean when there’s very little accountability or in-person contact (e.g., Take a look at comments on platforms like YouTube.). In light of this dynamic online, here are some thoughts on how to handle rage when it comes your way for content you are producing:
- It’s difficult, but don’t take it personally. Most angry people online have probably trying to vent frustration from other areas in life. It rarely has anything to do with you or your work.
- Don’t feel the need to fuel the super angry dude. Try to separate the criticism from the attack. There’s definitely benefit to responding to constructive criticism or need for customer service, but there’s rarely any benefit from acknowledging people that are just angry. Most people visiting those comments will see where the problem resides. Our criticism about others, especially when exaggerated or spoken in hyperbole, speaks more about us than the one we are criticizing.
- Keep in mind that any response is significant and people will be watching. Stay sincere and level headed in your response. Most responses online to heavy criticism cannot fully communicate your intent. Take the conversation offline whenever possible. Remember that any said online will have digital footprints.
- Always try to side with respect, optimism, and a posture to learn from anyone.
Finally, don’t do the very thing to others you would not to have them do unto you… oh yes, the Golden Rule. You don’t always have to defend yourself. When appropriate, apologize and communicate the reality that none of us have it together. Our egos often need to take a back seat to humility online.
