Home Youth Leaders Articles for Youth Leaders Answering the Top Questions From Today’s Parents, Part 3

Answering the Top Questions From Today’s Parents, Part 3

6. How do you engage with your child when their favorite apps or games bore you? (example: Minecraft)

Suck it up. When your kids are gone out of the house you’ll wish you would have played some of those boring games with them. Love is full of sacrifices. In my research for my book If I Had a Parenting Do Over, I asked hundreds of parents what they’d change if they could go back in time and change one parenting practice, and the number one answer was “I’d spend more time with my kid no matter what.”

For Further Reading: If I Had a Parenting Do Over

7. How do you balance freedom for a 16-yr-old and being an authoritative adult who makes decisions? I know she is 1 1/2 years from leaving home with college and no supervision. How do you know how much freedom is too much?

There is no hard and fast rule for exactly the right rules for a certain age. Each kid is different. Just keep your eyes on the calendar and ask, “Am I preparing her for that day when she leaves for college?” Instead of telling her what to do, ask her, “What should you do?” (More on that HERE).

8. The desire for money, power, fame and influence is a huge driver in all of this. But everything has tradeoffs. Can you talk about how to have this discussion without sounding like a killjoy?

DJ Khaled recently joined up with Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper, Little Wayne and a few others and cut a track called “I’m the One,” a song that soared to the top of the charts as each of those guys bragged about their money, status and possessions. It’s a common theme in today’s music, and apparently a common theme back in biblical times, because when Jesus taught his Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5), he shocked his audience painting a picture of humility, selflessness and compassion. People weren’t used to this kind of teaching…it was as revolutionary then as it is today.

Take your kids through scripture like Matthew 5, especially the Be-Attitudes. Limit lecturing, just read and then ask, “What does Jesus mean by this?” Then ask, “What does that look like today?” “What are some messages that seem to counter this teaching today?” “Who is right?”

Or use our FREE Music Discussions on TheSource4Parents.com. We actually have a discussion for that song, The One, with scripture and questions.

9. Can you talk about the TBH (to be honest) free social networking app that lets friends anonymously answer questions about one another. TBH is a simple social networking app that lets you answer fun, whimsical questions about your friends and collect gems (trophies) every time your friends select your name in answer to a question. Once you give access to your phone’s contact list and location, you can select the high school or college you attend. Since there’s no age verification, adults can join or kids can say they attend a school they don’t. Ultimately, the app draws from your phone’s contact list first and then offers other app users from the school second.

This app is like so many that encourages anonymity. If the word “anonymous” is ever in the description in an app…I think we should steer away from it. Anonymity always conveys “lack of responsibility” or “no accountability.” There is no reason our kids need to be wandering through an online world under the guise that their actions have no repercussions. This only sets them up for failure in the real world where actions actually have consequences. Many young people discover this the hard way when their seemingly “anonymous” online activity comes back to haunt them. In fact, this happens all the time.

For Further Reading: The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices, Chapter 6: Unmask: The myth of anonymity