I’ve come across a few situations in life where I’ve had to deeply offend somebody I care about with truth. Even though the truth is shared in love and with a pure heart, the decision to be offended is on the part of the receiver.
In youth ministry (and life in general) offending people has to happen at times for them to move forward. A sign that you’ve done it in love is if when they’re done licking their wounds, they come back to your side for more ministry.
Tonight I had to have such a conversation with a student I’ve been trying to minister to for months. I gave him a few specific and redemptive action steps he could take to make things right. His response so far has been to delete his Facebook profile and isolate himself (licking his wounds).
That’s a natural part of the process of dealing with being confronted. When that happens to you as a youth leader, don’t be surprised, hurt, offended or take it personally. Consider it a defense mechanism or like a caterpillar forming a cocoon. When the truth sinks in and the initial pain has subsided, there’ll be an opportunity to reconnect and move forward… ideally.
Sometimes they choose to run instead. However, don’t let that risk stop you from doing the hard work of ministry – speaking difficult truth lovingly into the lives of students. That’s what good leaders do… at the risk of their student(s) turning on them.
