Saying No to Good Stuff

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I hate saying no to good stuff.

Saying no to bad stuff is hard enough.  Anyone who has ever tried to kick a bad habit can testify to that.  But turning down a really great opportunity kills me and I think it is almost harder.  It’s certainly harder for me to justify.

I had a really great opportunity come across my e-mail today.  I really wanted to just say yes immediately.  Yes, I’d love to do that thing.  Only problem is, saying yes to too much can kill me too.  I know this.  But I’m not the greatest at doing what I know is true in this area.  I really want to just be a yes man.

But I can’t.

So, to that end, here’s how I’m trying to decide what to say yes to and what to say no to these days.  Perhaps these five questions will help you decide what is best too.  They are in no particular order:

  1. DESTINATION:  Where do I see my life headed and will this opportunity move me further towards that goal?
  2. FAMILY:  How will this affect my wife and family?  Can they go with me?  What else am I inherently saying no to if I say yes to this? 
  3. MARGIN:  Where does this opportunity fit in the grander scope of my calendar?  Do I have the margin in my life to do this? 
  4. MOTIVE:  Is saying yes to this opportunity about a calling from God or a desire for approval from people?
  5. F WORDS:  how do I foresee that this could affect my friendships, my finances, and my faith?
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Brian Berry
Brian is a 17 year veteran of student ministry and is currently serving as the generation ministries pastor at Journey Community Church near San Diego, CA. As the generations pastor he is hands on in high school and oversees a staff that responsible for birth through twenty-somethings. He also blogs about his life and learnings, writes here and there including a column for group magazine, teaches youth ministry seminars, and speaks at various camps and retreats. He is married to his wife Shannon and together they have 5 kids.

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