Guest Post by Tyler Tarver
Tyler is doing a blog tour to promote his new book. I definitely wanted him to guest post here, so you could get an opportunity to check it out! So without further ado, here’s Tyler Tarver’s post: “Don’t Be That Youth Pastor.”
I’m not certain, but I think doing a Don’t Be That Guy post anywhere but TylerStanton.com is illegal in all 53 American States, but we’re exporting this fool out to Guam like an AT&T customer service call.
Here are some common youth pastor tendencies you might wanna steer clear of like a transparent bull.
The Rerun: You remember that time you gave that talk about the Prodigal Son and it killed. I mean…It.Was.Perfect. You do? Well you don’t have to tell your students cause they know you know it, cause you give it every other Sunday. Unless you’re earning a hearty commission to support your hair gel addiction, let’s mix it up a bit. My vote: 2 Kings 2:23-24.
The Creeper: I don’t know if you’re just going for the silent and wise thing, but it can be done without the sneaking up. You crafty little vixon, we don’t need the grown up version of that breathy kid from Hey Arnold! who used to follow Helga Pataki around. Just announce your presence and smile occasionally. My vote: No more penetrating stares, we’re not contestants on The Bachelorette.
The Doctor’s Office Style Magazine Guy: I hate it when I pick up a magazine in the doctor’s office and think “holy crap, Mark McGuire beat the record again!”, nay, it’s just an issue from August 1998. Same goes for your clothing dude. If you’re gonna try to stay hip and in with the kiddos and their attempts at fashion, at least stay current. Once a stage passes, you pass it like Pippin in the 90’s. My vote: Burn anything that rhymes with Paliction or Smed Pardy.
Sir-Scream-A-Lot: Look, you’re not a full time pastor at a small town in the south, so why are you yelling your message at your students like they’re about to get hit by a van 2 miles away? Seriously, these kids get yelled at by their parents and crappy teachers all day long, they don’t need the message of Jesus done the same. Flip some tables if you must, but no yelling. My vote: Whisper the whole thing then throw some bottle rockets. You’ll have more salvations than a WOW concert that catches on fire.
These are just some hints.
Which ones did I miss?
Thanks again Mark, you look hot today. Drink some water.
Tyler Tarver is THE guy I go to for comedic relief. You can check out his website tylertarver.com, subscribe to it here, check him on Twitter @tylertarver, or just buy his brand new toilet book which he won’t shut up about titled Words&Sentences. No, seriously. Go buy it! It’s less than $10! You can’t beat that!
