Home Youth Leaders Youth Leaders Blogs How to Connect with Parents of Students

How to Connect with Parents of Students

At The Orange Conference 2012, I led a breakout centered around this idea of:  How does a youth pastor connect with parents of students?

Over the course of 2011-2012, I really tried hard to find practical ways for youth pastors to connect with parents since it is so difficult and many youth workers are intimidated to try it out.  So after many conversations with many different youth pastors and relying on my past experiences, I compiled a list of practical ways to reach out to parents.

I argued that connecting with parents is not about taking one big step.  It’s about taking many small, intentional, and strategic steps.  It doesn’t matter if you are dealing with disengaged, engaged, involved, invested, or aware parents.  The goal is to get any type of parent to take one step in the right direction in order for them to connect with your youth ministry.

Connecting with parents is the first effort in partnering with parents in student ministry, which is why the connection process is so instrumental.

Connecting with parents in small daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly steps

DAILY

Act like every parent wants to connect with you. 

God cares about parents so youth pastors need to care.  If we don’t believe parents want to connect with our student ministry, then we will start to blow off the parent connection.  It is more about having a mindset that parents are primary. It is more about believing in them rather than putting on a program for them. Believe that parents want to become better parents, and they want the best for their teen.

Deliver on promises. 

Believing in parents and delivering on your promises are the two things that will get you more trust and respect with parents.  Whatever you communicate or promise, please deliver on.  Conclude youth group when you say you will.  Arrive home from camp when you say you’ll be home.  For example, when our youth group would come home from winter camp I would call one parent, and let her know we were on our way home, and give her an ETA.  This appointed parent would call all the parents letting them know of our ETA.

Protect teens.  

Safety is going to be parents #1 concern.  Parents are entrusting you with their teen, so think like a parent.  Think through best ways to protect and keep their teen safe.  Complete background checks.  Update and revise medical and liability release forms yearly.  Stop the pranks, hazing, gossip, and bullying.  Have insured and reliable transportation.  Make sure students buckle up.

Return ALL calls and e-mails.  

Youth pastors hate the phone, but moms love the phone.  So if a parent contacts you via e-mail or phone, call or e-mail them back!

Respect parents. 

Parents are the primary influence– this is demonstrated in not only sociological research but in the Bible.  So you got to respect the parent’s authority, perspective, and rules.  For example, when the youth ministry has its little, sexy sex series, let parents know what will be talked about.  Plus give parents an option to talk to their student about sex before some crazy 20 something youth pastor with a faux hawk informs them about virginity.

Commit to praying for parents.  

This is so easy, but one of the hardest things to do.  I simply pray over my parent roster.  Nothing fancy just a quick prayer for the health and wealth of the whole family.