The pastor did concede that the rule about sandwiches is not “an absolute law like the one about making babies.” Men might have to fend for themselves sometimes. And Wilson clarified that if a couple goes on a date and a man employed at the restaurant makes the sandwiches for them, “Nobody is sinning.” Nevertheless: “In the general scheme of things, the Apostle Paul wants the women to make the sandwiches.”
Where does the Apostle Paul say this? Wilson cited Titus 2:5, which gives instructions for younger women that include staying “busy at home.” Said Wilson, “That includes the sandwiches.” And the only reason such differences between men and women are not obvious to people is the “unrelenting dint of propaganda that we have been subjected to.”
Wilson spent a fair bit of time unpacking the title of his video, which he takes from Romans 1. Verses 26 and 27 of that chapter say:
For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
The King James Version translates the beginning of verse 27, “And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another.”
Wilson’s application of the word “use” was rather muddy, as he quoted from Romans 1 and immediately went on to explain why using other people is justified, as long as we are using them appropriately. “All of us use one another all the time,” he said, “and there’s nothing wrong with it. This is what it means to live in family or in community. The problem is not with using people, which is inescapable, but rather the problem arises when we use them in a reductionistic way.”
For example, someone might “use” another person to block the sun when having a conversation outside. That would not be morally wrong, but it would be wrong to reduce that person’s value to merely being a screen for the sun. Wilson elaborated on this further and said he sees no inconsistency between a man “using his wife” to guard against sexual immorality and a man being willing to die for her. “In a godly marriage,” said the pastor, “a man and a woman should use and be used gladly, responsibly, sacrificially, and lovingly. That’s the whole point.”
Wilson’s video is consistent with comments he has made in the past. In a blog titled, “Restoring Sexism: The Lost Virtue,” he wrote, “If you were a male when you were conceived, this means that (at that moment) God was assigning to you the duties of provision and protection. If you were a female when conceived, you were being assigned the duties bearing children and nurturing them. And making the sandwiches.”
Reactions to Douglas Wilson’s Video
Responses to Douglas Wilson’s video vary widely. One YouTube user commented, “As a woman who enjoys making sandwiches and spending the time in the kitchen, I’m not sure why people find it so offensive for a woman to make a man a sandwich LOL.”
“I would love to hear more about this topic. This was so good,” said another. One Twitter user wrote, “Keep being faithful. Doug Wilson has been our pastor for ten years. Everyone in our congregation catches flack in Moscow for being in a church that teaches faithfully on these things. It’s been good for us, though it did take some getting used to!”
Some people expressed appreciation for Wilson, but were not comfortable with certain aspects of what he said. “I like Doug Wilson,” said a Twitter user named Amelia. “His teachings have blessed the marriages of the elders who nurture mine. I don’t like the sandwich quote.”
