“What ecstasy of Adam observing the beautiful and smooth face of Eve — like me, yet not,” Morse wrote. “This appreciation is under assault in many places today. Figuratively speaking, our culture dislikes everything about beards. We paste false beards on women and shave the beards of men, catechizing the children that there isn’t any difference.”
Therefore, to Morse, beard growing has become a countercultural symbol of rebellion against the gender ideology of the day.
“That makes literal beards, in my opinion, worth having. Beards protest against a world gone mad. In other words, beards beard,” Morse declared. “They testify, in their own bristly way, that sex distinctions matter, that manhood will not be so easily shaven, shorn, or chopped by the Huruns of this world. Its itchy and cheeky voice bears witness, ‘Male and female he created them’ (Genesis 1:27).”
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Online Response
Many responded to Morse’s article with a mixture of humor and criticism. Noting the apparent frivolity of its topic, a number of readers jokingly questioned whether the article was intended to be satirical.
“The culture war is awesome,” one person joked. Some men joked that the article made them want to shave.
“Close your eyes & imagine with me, if you will, a world where the only distinction between men & women is facial hair; a world where women like Kate Windsor, Oprah, Megan Fox, & Salma Hayek are indistinguishable from Dave Bautista,” wrote another. “Now open your eyes. THIS is that world.”
Others posted images of Desiring God founder John Piper’s clean shaven face.
“My Christian college didn’t allow beards because evangelicalism was terrified we were going to turn into hippies,” one person noted. “Fast forward 40 years and evangelicalism wants us to grow beards because they’re terrified we’re going to turn into Timothée Chalamet.”
Some criticism from others was more pointed.
“Seminary presidents are speaking at Christian Nationalism conferences alongside insurrectionists and y’all want to talk about facial hair,” one person said.
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Another wrote, “This is what is important to talk about. Not our faith being appropriated by violent politicians and nutjob doomsday preppers. Not abuse in our man-made church hierarchies. Not our watered down prosperity ‘gospel,’ our cheap grace…The Kingdom of Heaven is beards apparently.”
