This is why people have had problems with preachers for years. Most people suspect preachers don’t live up to their talk. Often they’re wrong (I’m amazed by the integrity of many Christian leaders I meet), but sometimes they’re right, not because there are hidden vices, but because the talk is out of proportion to the walk.
So speak honestly from the front. Make sure your talk matches your walk. Be honest about any flaws you have, and speak from your weakness as much as your strength. If you want guidelines on how, I wrote about how to be appropriately transparent in this post.
And if you have a growing gap that needs to be addressed, address it. Get help. Tell a friend. Go see a counselor. Get on your knees.
And in leadership, try to make sure that what you say publicly is how you live privately.
Any growing gap shows your character is slowly imploding.
2. Your emotions are inappropriate to the situation.
A sure sign of something being wrong with your character is emotional responses that are disproportionate to a given situation.
You fly off the handle over small things.
You feel nothing when people tell you something sad or upsetting.
You can’t celebrate someone else’s success.
Those could be signs of burnout, or they could flag something deeper—a character issue.
Your character is at its best when Christ takes over the deepest parts of who you are—your heart, mind, soul and strength. And when he has control of these things, your reactions become much healthier.
You rejoice when people rejoice.
You mourn when they mourn.
You can celebrate someone’s success and not be jealous.
You feel compassion for someone when they’re down and don’t gloat or think they deserve it.
The only way my character stays at this level is if I submit my heart and life fully to Christ on a daily basis.
But when your emotions are disproportionate to the situation, it’s a sign of danger ahead.
3. You have less and less grace to give.
When my character has been at its weakest, a sure sign is that grace is in short supply.
There’s nothing wrong with having high standards as a leader. There’s a tremendous amount wrong when those high standards cause you to treat people like dirt.
Frankly, on a spiritual level, grace runs out in your life when God runs out in your life.
If you need more grace, you need more God.
If you have less and less grace to give, it’s a deep sign your character needs some serious work.
4. Your leadership has become about you.
Great leaders serve people. They don’t believe people exist to serve them.
When your character begins to implode, you will forget that.
Usually at the heart of a character implosion is unresolved pain. And pain, by its nature, is selfish.
Think about it. If you hit your elbow in the next 10 seconds, you will completely forget about this blog post and anything else going on in your life and focus only on the pain.
Why? Because pain is selfish.
If you’re a selfish leader, it’s because there’s unresolved pain in your life.
So get on your knees, see a counselor, get help.
When you resolve the pain, you’ll lead well again.
After all, when your leadership becomes all about you, you’ve stopped leading.
