Yet there is still so much confusion in the pews and pulpit, and no simplistic answer is going to solve the problem.
The women—and men—in your church are looking to you to see how to respond to the news. Sadly, too many are intimately familiar with sexual assault and with how little is done to support those who have been victimized.
This cannot be the case for us as believers. Whether with the accusations against Judge Kavanaugh or in any other case, the allegations must always be heard and taken seriously. President Trump, Kavanaugh, Ford and Ramirez have all called for an investigation. Yes, there has been debate as to how that is done, but you can (and should) say that all such allegations need to be investigated, in government, church or wherever.
That’s just common sense. And, you can (and should) say that if you are going to speak.
That does not mean that allegations are simply accepted as true, but they are taken seriously. The accusations need to be heard and considered.
And a quick note on jokes related to issues of sexual abuse, harassment and the investigation of such: They are NEVER appropriate. In the past few days I’ve seen too many as I scroll through my social media channels. People are taking these very serious subjects too lightly, and it’s time to stop.
Even if you don’t take part in these jokes, it’s important to ask yourself if your silence is helping. You don’t need to get all the facts to know that these jokes are foolish and hurtful to those who have survived sexual assault. Allowing them to go unchallenged hinders the cause of Christ and your integrity as a leader.
Finally, dig deeper for your sake—and the sake of others.
If you haven’t yet, check out all the posts related to #whyIdidntreport. It’s heartbreaking and this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are still countless numbers of people in the church who haven’t reported.
When those burdened with this hidden hurt and shame read how people are responding to the allegations against Kavanaugh with jokes and insults, it further solidifies their belief that they can’t share their own stories and that they can’t have the healing and restoration that the gospel offers and that we profess to preach.
This is horrifying to me, and it should be to you, too. If one member in any of our churches has a story they cannot feel safe sharing, we have failed as leaders.
If your words this week cause people to be less confident to come to you in an assault crisis, your words have added to the pain of others—regardless of what Judge Kavanaugh did or did not do.
In the case of Judge Kavanaugh and others, due process should always occur. And, in the church, during that time of due process, both the accused and the accuser should be ministered by the church.
We need to follow that due process now and always. No one should have their name raked through the mud. This goes for pastors as well. There should be a process. If someone brings an accusation, we must take this accusation seriously, but make sure to hear all sides. By doing so, we help ensure due process.
So dig deep. Be patient. Learn. Pray and ask God to give you an impartial heart that allows you to lead well and care for your flock. Only then will we model Christ to our world, and to those under our care.
Your flock needs you. Remember that they are the ones you are responsible to. Don’t disappoint them with casual and flippant comments that undermine their trust in you and the church.
If you are interested, I talk more about engaging difficult topics well in my new book, Christians in the Age of Outrage. You can pre-order that now at Amazon.
This article originally appeared here.
