2. Paul had an incomparably high view of God’s sovereignty in salvation mingled with heartfelt tears for those who were not saved.
“I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills. (Romans 9:15–18)
My conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh. (Romans 9:1–3)
Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved. (Romans 10:1)
However we may try to put God’s sovereignty and man’s responsibility together, Paul himself cherished God’s sovereignty to save, and wept over those who refused to come. He saw and he lived this mystery. His mind is not so small or brittle that it breaks while encompassing complex greatness.
3. Paul was utterly devoted to the calling that the risen Christ had given him, even though it cost him incomparable sufferings.
“I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” (Acts 20:24)
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness. (2 Timothy 4:7–8)
I make it my ambition to preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named, lest I build on someone else’s foundation. (Romans 15:20)
In this unwavering commitment to his God-given mission, the labors and sufferings were almost unbearable and unremitting.
[I have served Christ] with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. (2 Corinthians 11:23–29)
If you say, this sounds like bragging, you would be right, in a sense. False apostles were trying to undermine his work in Corinth. They boasted of great credentials. So Paul says—and he knows this is very risky!—“Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one—I am talking like a madman” (2 Corinthians 11:23).
In other words, only fools brag like this. So, yes! “I have been a fool! You forced me to it, for I ought to have been commended by you. For I was not at all inferior to these super-apostles, even though I am nothing” (2 Corinthians 12:11). That is risky. And I love him for taking the risk. Because I know from 13 letters that this is not a craven egotist who needs propping up through praise. The difference between a sane man and a madman is that when the sane man talks like a madman, he knows it.
4. Paul knew he was not a perfect man, and he did not hide his flaws, but made them an occasion to help others fight for holiness and joy.
I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate…. I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh…. I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind…. Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:15, Romans 7.18″ data-version=”esv” data-purpose=”bible-reference”>18, Romans 7.22–25″ data-version=”esv” data-purpose=”bible-reference”>22–25)
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. (Philippians 3:12)
The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. (1 Timothy 1:15–16)
This is utterly astonishing, that a man with Paul’s authority and exalted role in the early church—commissioned by the risen Christ himself—should be as vulnerable with his own imperfections. This is not the way of a deluded or a deceptive man. It has the mark of deep and humble inner security and mental health.
