2. Overdisclosing Your Struggles
So portraying a perfect life under-discloses your struggles. But does being real mean you should over-disclose them?
Not in the least.
When you over-disclose your struggles (“I’m having a bad day, AGAIN”), you help nobody.
When you talk about your long list of problems or what’s wrong with the world, you can miss the fact that you’re not in a conversation with anyone on those issues.
You’re just pulling a dump and run.
I wrote more about how to find an appropriate level of transparency as a leader here.
These three rules have helped me figure out when to talk about something publicly and when not to.
Just because you need to tell someone you’re struggling doesn’t mean you need to tell everyone you’re struggling.
Tell a friend, and keep your phone in your pocket.
3. Posting When You’re Emotional…or Angry
Nothing good happens when you’re angry. And when you’re emotional, you rarely say things you’re proud of later on.
So please don’t tell us about it.
Sometimes you see emotional status updates like “So disappointed…” or “I can’t believe that just happened…”
I don’t know about you, but it makes me think the person just wants someone to take the bait and ask what happened or, more sadly, that the person doesn’t have anyone to talk to.
If you start throwing some store that didn’t process your return well, some leader or some other victim of your anger under the bus, it makes us wonder what you’re saying about us when we’re not the room.
If you’re angry, process it. Don’t tweet it.
Go to sleep, wake up the next morning and my guess is your anger will be gone. Your status update won’t be though.
Unless of course, you never published it.
Much smarter.
4. Playing Politics
This is a personal opinion, but I think when ministry leaders jump into partisan politics, they lose influence.
I’m a Canadian, so I realize I’m likely suspect on all fronts here, but God isn’t a Democrat or a Republican; or a liberal or a conservative; or Labour or Coalition. He’s God.
And as a ministry leader, I’m called to lead all people. Even the people I disagree with.
I think when you play politics online, you squander your influence. So I don’t.
And we have people who vote in every direction at our church, which I think means we’re being the church.
5. Saying Something Publicly Because You Don’t Have the Guts to Say It Privately
You’ve seen those status updates.
“Some people are impossible to deal with!”
“I wish people would just…”
It’s easier to say it publicly than it is privately, isn’t it? Absolutely. For all of us.
But great leadership demands that difficult conversations happen privately, not publicly.
Talk to the person you’re upset with, not about them.
Go direct.
