When I launched the Kickstarter campaign, my intent was to use the finances to help me transition slowly out of my day job for a few months until I knew I could pay my bills writing and speaking again. I went from working every day to working two to three days a week on most weeks, and added in three solid freelancing projects, plus the Kickstarter eBook, plus my next book with Thomas Nelson. It didn’t seem like I was removing as much as I was adding, but I was happy to have some days in my week to set aside for writing.
My gut said from the beginning I just need to write. Quit the day job and write. However, I listened to some people who were a little more critical of the campaign and implied by not clocking in somewhere, I somehow was sending people a message that people who have day jobs aren’t capable of following their dreams.
And so, I stuck with the day job.
Unexpectedly this past Tuesday, when I went into my day job, I was told the whole part time schedule wasn’t working out and they really needed someone in the office every day. I turned in my key, went to Sonic for some Cherry Coke Zero comfort, and drove home…a little bit surprised but a little relieved, too.
You can imagine I was a worried. I still was taking in about a third of my income from the day job. Maybe even a little more. That totally messes up the budget I had planned over the next six months. How was this going to work out?
The weekend prior to all this happening, I happened to catch a friend of mine on Facebook chat. He’s in Europe now after making some pretty radical decisions and after hearing about how he came to make those decisions, I was challenged to truly open my hands and let go.
Little did I know I’d actually have my hands pried open unexpectedly.
I spent the rest of the day organizing some books that have been packed away for the last few months. With no internet or cable at my house, there wasn’t much else to do but think and clean. Maybe it’s crazy, but I spoke aloud a few times, as if God and the universe were sitting behind me on my bed watching me debate my library method [book genre? or author name?]
“Well, I guess I don’t have another choice but to let you show me if my gut was right. Maybe I was just supposed to leave the day job altogether. Or I’m going to run out of money. Should I start looking for a day job again? Do I need that safety net?”
The desire in my heart became more intense.
Write.
“But….”
Write.
Every scenario I imagined that did not involve writing felt like someone was punching me in the stomach. Or maybe I had eaten something weird. If my mind wavered from writing full time, I physically felt ill.
“But….how?”
A couple hours later, I received an email out of the blue from someone asking me to do some freelance writing for them. Yesterday, somebody asked me to teach a one-time class. I had an invitation to speak in November. Today, I had another meeting about writing for a great organization.
As I sit here in a New York airport, I can’t help but to reflect on my fear and God’s obvious provision. We don’t always know how it’s going to work out. And it’s completely terrifying at times.
And that’s okay.
If it wasn’t scary, we wouldn’t be reminded of a plan that’s bigger than we could ever imagine. We wouldn’t need support from others who have taken those big jumps and who help carry us and inspire us to jump too. Hearing people say, “you can do this” never gets old.
The great thing is we have the opportunity to do both: jump and speak.
Lead by example and jump.
Look who’s jumping with you. Link arms.
Look who’s teetering on the edge. Reach back, grab them, and take them with you as you scream with a pure exhilaration on the way down into the adventure you were meant to live.
Because you were.
Day job. No day job. Moving somewhere crazy. Saying yes. Saying no.
It looks different for all of us.
But I truly believe you know in your gut exactly what you’re supposed to do.
It’s not just for you, either.
It’s your gift to the world.
Don’t hold it back.
Be generous.
Give it.
