Why? Because I also enjoy going to the gym with her or just stepping out for a quick evening walk around the block. I enjoy wandering the aisles of Home Depot or Ikea with her as we catch up on those little household errands. I enjoy helping her make dinner and I enjoy it when she helps me do the dishes or when we team up to make the kids’ lunches. I especially enjoy sitting on the couch together to watch Antiques Roadshow (still the best show on television!) or Downton Abbey or whatever else we’re into. I enjoy lying in bed next to her as each of us devours whatever book we are reading at the moment. I just plain enjoy her. I enjoy doing life alongside her—normal life. With all the time we spend doing life together, and all the satisfaction we derive from it, we are quite content. (Yes, she read this article and gave her assent!)
Marriage is made up of date nights and romantic weekends. But far more it is made up of those million mundane little moments. More than it is dancing and candlelight and bed and breakfasts, it is doing chores together, driving to church together, watching a miniseries together, eating meals together. It has been my experience that the more we enjoy those ordinary moments and the more we find satisfaction and significance in them, the less we need or even desire those extraordinary occasions.
I know couples who have neither common interests nor common activities, and they thrive through their regularly scheduled date nights. I understand that, and I’m genuinely happy for them! I know others who just love to be out and about and, again, thrive with their date nights. But for us, the best nights, the nights we love, the nights we crave, are the most normal nights of all. And we are delighted with that.