Sunday School Members,
I visited your Sunday School last Sunday and was overjoyed to see so many of you had not attended. I become very anxious when I see people participating in Bible study. That’s why I have so many fun activities to keep you out late on Saturday nights.
I heard some lessons not well prepared, so much of your allotted time for Bible study was consumed in discussing ball games and business concerns. Furthermore, many classes reported no contacts for the week. Absentee members and class prospects were completely ignored; boy does that ever make me feel good! When people’s needs are met and people genuinely care about one another, it makes things hard for me. You are doing such a wonderful job of fellowshipping with one another that you have no time for anyone else. You are making my job so easy that I may take four weeks vacation this year instead of my usual two.
Also, I noticed the loneliest place in town on outreach night is the church. I always sweat this night out because if you go out and tell someone about Jesus, they just might get saved. That is the worst news I could receive! But you Sunday School people are so easily turned away by other important priorities that my staff and I plan for you. I have discovered that your convenience is more important to you than your mission.
Well, I just wanted to drop you a note and encourage you to keep up the mediocrity. No sense in your getting all worked up about this gospel stuff anyway. Why, people will begin to think you are a fanatic if you do.
In conclusion, let me say that I’m always here to assist you. If anyone starts putting pressure on you to become a fully committed disciple, rooted and grounded in the Word, and more involved in the Great Commission, just let me know. I have a pit full of excuses. Your friend for all eternity,
Satan
Taylor, Allan (2009-06-01). Sunday School in HD: Sharpening the Focus on What Makes Your Church Healthy (pp. 74-75). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
