Why the distancing? What’s going on that makes the X and Y generations seem like Moses wanting to be free from the bondage of Egyptian rule when it comes to their evangelical rearing?
Here are a few thoughts to consider.
Holy Marriage!
It appears that young evangelicals are fed up with the culture war. They have little or no interest in rushing in to protest issues such as traditional marriage or take a vocal anti-abortion stance. They may still have some left over conservative views, but their goals seem much broader, encompassing social concerns like poverty, education and the environment.
Ken Wilson, senior pastor of the Vineyard Church in Ann Arbor, Michigan, argues, “The culture war stuff just does not appeal to younger generations.” Many are children of divorce, he says, and they’re tired of conflict. “They’re not interested in a spirituality that helps them become culture warriors. They want to repair the culture.”
There’s no question that young evangelicals have seen too much hypocrisy when it comes to marriage within the church life they were raised in. Between 26 percent and 33 percent of them have been affected by divorce according to The Barna Group. They feel their evangelical parents’ credibility on the issue of marriage has been significantly dumbed down by their participation in divorce.
The traditional family looks different than it did to their parents. To many of them, it looks like two, maybe even three, moms and dads, not to mention the numerous stepbrothers and sisters. To our shame, the conversation on the “until death do you part” aspect of marriage doesn’t seem to be an honest one with them anymore.
Many of the Gen X and Yers feel that their evangelical parents have botched it in the area of marital covenant. Consequently, it’s thrown them into a psychosis that challenges their reality on committed unions. They are less likely to jump into marriage early in life. “It’s the double standard,” said one 28-year-old male when referring to his Christian parents’ divorce when he was 8 years old. He basically felt that they had nothing to say to him when it came to guidelines for a strong, “committed” Christian marriage. As a result, he’s presently walking through anger issues with his father in therapy, while at the same time trying to justify why God would allow him to be mostly raised by a verbally and physically abusive stepfather.
And we wonder why this generation of young Christians pull back when asked to support “traditional family” values. Tens of thousands of these young men and women are asking, “WHAT traditional family values?”
