4) Consider the scope of his ministry and teaching: I remember one time pouring out my heart on the great blessing of church unity only to have one guy come up right after I finished to criticize me for not wearing a tie. It is so difficult to take critique seriously when it appears trivial against the backdrop of weightier matters. I found myself wondering, “Did you even hear what we just spent 40 minutes talking about from God’s Word?”
Along the same lines, before you come to criticize, think about the scope of your pastor’s ministry and influence. Is he doing some good things? Is the mission of the church moving forward in a good direction? If so, you would be wise to preface your concerns with appreciation for the job he is doing so that your critique will be seen as coming from an appreciative partner, not a critical sniper.
5) Having examined your motives, and picked a good time, here’s how to go about criticizing your pastor:
a) Speak for yourself: It is best to represent yourself only and not come saying, “Lots of us think …” or “I know many others who feel the same as I do, and … .” All this communicates is the possibility that the issue has been the topic of gossip, and that is never a good way to start a meaningful conversation. Don’t bear the grievances of others. Come representing yourself and your concerns.
b) Don’t be a bully: It is good to be direct and present yourself and your ideas with proper confidence, but don’t think you can “throw your weight around” and still have a productive conversation. Here are some things to avoid:
—I’ve been at this church for 35 years, and I’ve seen a lot of pastors come and go and I’m still here.
—My brother is a pastor so I know how it is supposed to be done.
—I graduated from Bible college and seminary, am fluent in 45 languages including all the biblical ones, and I have authored 23 college textbooks on theology, the church and how to end world hunger, so I know what I’m talking about. (or something like that!)
If your concerns are real, and your motive is righteous, and your manner is respectful, it won’t matter who you are. Any pastor worth his salt will respond to your criticism on its merit, regardless of your standing in the community.
c) Start with what you appreciate about the ministry of the pastor and the church: As I mentioned above, it is important that you let the pastor know you are an ally not an enemy. Regardless of the position you hold in life, no one readily accepts critique from those who have been a perpetual thorn in their side. Those who live in opposition, who jump at the chance to point out a deficiency, or find joy in our shortcomings will seldom be received well when they come with an objection. On the other hand, those who truly care about the church and the mission of Christ will be welcomed by those who share their love for Christ and his mission.
