Your spouse should never endure disappointments as a result of ignorance. State your expectations clearly. All of them. Be thorough. What do you expect from a wife? A husband? What does marriage look like to you? What does sex look like?
If you can’t state your expectations, either because you don’t know them or you’re too shy to say them, it’s a red flag that you aren’t ready for marriage.
7) I promise to never say “I forgive you” unless I truly mean it.
Your spouse will hurt you and vice-versa. When this happens, search your heart, seek God and forgive your spouse the same way God forgives you.
Don’t forgive with conditions. Don’t say “I forgive you” when you’re really storing your spouse’s mistake to use as ammo in a future argument.
Unless you forgive the way God forgives you, completely and unconditionally, a wall will grow taller and taller in your relationship. Eventually, bitterness and resentment will make intimacy impossible, and your marriage will be nothing more than two roommates living under the same roof.
8) I promise to be FOR you, to encourage your dreams, to help you become the man or woman God created you to be.
Many days you won’t feel like being for your spouse. But you must be for your partner if you want your marriage to grow. What does this look like? Here are a few examples.
1. You pray for your spouse.
2. You affirm your spouse’s strengths and gifts.
3. You focus more on the positive aspects of your spouse’s personality and actions than the negative ones.
4. You help your spouse pursue his or her dreams and talents.
5. You make your relationship a safe place for hard questions and deep conversations.
When you are for your spouse they open up like a flower, stepping into their relationships, workplace, etc. with boldness and courage. Is your spouse living with boldness and courage?
9) I promise to never complain about our marriage, in general, or you, in particular, to others.
God created marriage to be a private relationship between two people. In the social media era, virtually everything is available to the public. Privacy is viewed as stinginess, almost as though six billion people are entitled to full access of your life.