3. People often treat pastors’ wives like pastors’ secretaries.
When Charity and I first got married, and I started pastoring a year and a half later, she would write down various things people would ask her about, pertaining to my schedule, or if I could do something for them, but she eventually got to the point of just habitually encouraging people to either email me or call the church office. As much as she tries to get away from it, there is still an element of secretarial treatment to a pastor’s wife.
This is a ministry to the church. She helps people learn how to easily schedule appointments with the pastor.
4. Pastors’ wives are often left out of social functions, but then asked to help in times of need.
The same is true of pastors. My late friend, Dr. Tommy Teague, and I talked about this one time. He watched the Super Bowl at his house, and the next Wednesday a group from a Sunday school class was discussing their party where they watched the big game. They asked Tommy where he went to watch it, and he said he was just with his family in their living room. They told him they just assumed he was invited to a bunch of parties, so they didn’t bother asking him.
I’ve had several similar instances over the years. For some reason, I’ve noticed this happens even more with pastors’ wives. They’re not invited to functions as often, but are asked to help more. I have always compared relationships to banking, and it is hard to have fewer deposits while having more withdrawals.
This is a ministry to the church. It is a relational sacrifice to serve in the role of pastor’s wife.
5. Pastors’ wives deal with their husbands’ venting when they don’t feel open to talking to anyone else.
This may not be the case for every pastor’s wife, but I’m sure it is for many. I know that my wife helps calm me down and gives me a more balanced perspective in making decisions for the church. This is a ministry to me personally and to the church family.
I really enjoy being a pastor, and am grateful for my wife’s ministry. Do you have any additional thoughts on pastors’ wives and their ministries?
