We just got a dog a few weeks ago. I resisted it for years, but finally gave in. The funny thing is that I’ve grown to love her. Her name is BonBon. Today was my day off and I took her for a walk in Coronado, which overlooks downtown San Diego. It was a beautiful day: sunny, in the low 70′s with a light breeze. A perfect spring day!
I took her for a walk along the walkway near the bay, which was filled with people. BonBon was overwhelmed with the many sights, sounds and smells around her. She couldn’t seem to focus on our goal of taking a walk. She wanted to sniff the flowers, roll in the grass and run in the sand. Whatever interested her at the time, which changed every few seconds, captured her attention and focus. She reminded me of an ADHD kid – bouncing from one thing to the next without any control of her impulses. I can relate, since I’ve self diagnosed myself as ADHD
Anyway, her lack of focus made it difficult to take our walk.
So, I kept her on a tight leash. It did the trick too. We were able to enjoy our walk. Every once in awhile, I would let her say hi to another dog, roll in the grass, run in the sand or sniff the flowers. But the tight leash helped me maintain control. It also helped me protect her. She made several attempts to attack other dogs, which is not a good idea given her size. Once she attempted to dive into the bay (don’t think she can swim yet). Without the short leash, she could have gotten hurt.
The early years of faith development are comparable to a short leash. We direct kids in what they learn and teach them the fundamentals. We teach them about who God is and what he has done. We teach in a structured environment. We focus on character building. They’re not quite ready to explore things on their own. We keep kids on a short leash for their protection.
The day will soon come when I can begin to let BonBon go a bit. With enough training, I will be able to sometimes take of the leash. I’ll trust her enough to let go. I will have confidence she won’t jump in the bay or sniff an old lady sitting on the bench.
The preteen years are when we begin to let go. I’ve written about this before. Many times in fact. But it is worth repeating because it is the heartbeat of preteen ministry. Preteens need us to let go because they want to begin owning their relationship with God. They want to take the first steps in their faith. So, what does it mean to let go?
Here are a few ways to let go:
- The role of a leader transitions from instructor to coach.
- Help preteens discover how to learn from the world around them. Guide them to learn life lessons through everyday interaction with family, school and friends.
- Encourage them to explore, challenge & question their faith.
- Give preteens permission to fail.
- Teach them how to hear God’s voice.
- Equip them to read the Bible and journal their prayers.
- Challenge them to take action steps from your weekend messages.
- Show a video and ask the group what they can learn about God through it. Have everyone share. Let that be the lesson!
- Give preteens an opportunity to serve their community and world.
I just named a few. The list is endless. The point is to let go. Experiment and refine what works with your unique set of preteens. I’m curious, what do you do to let go? Leave us a comment!
