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How To Love Orphans When You Don’t Feel Led To Adopt

If you’ve ever thought, “People shouldn’t fundraise for an adoption; If they can’t afford it, they shouldn’t adopt” you likely have a very messed up picture of how money works in the kingdom of God. In this family of believers, your money is my money and my money is your money and if one of us is willing to do the hard work of adoption, we all contribute to making it happen. If you’re not going to adopt, that’s perfectly acceptable, but you’ve gotta be willing to chip in.

I actually wrote this post with the intention of helping my friends Ryan and Kelly raise money for the adoption of their son Titus from Micronesia. He’s currently in utero, due in the next three months. Ryan and Kelly, recently returned to the US from mission work in Ireland, have been trying to adopt a child for years. Just a few days ago they received entirely unexpected news that, if they wanted, they could be parents. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen two people more excited. Still, they have 3 MONTHS to raise $10,000 and that is no small task. But then again, for the people of God, it is.

Ryan and Kelly. Obviously these two will make terrific parents.&nbsp;</p>”>Ryan and Kelly. Obviously these two will make terrific parents. 

Ryan and Kelly. Obviously these two will make terrific parents.

Like I said, Ryan and Kelly haven’t been in the states long. They don’t have a large church family. They’re going to need some help from strangers, Christian brothers and sisters who realize that helping Ryan and Kelly adopt this baby is what God had in mind when He commanded us to visit the orphans in their distress. It’s the kind of love He modeled in loving and adopting us.

Follow the link https://www.gofundme.com/2hrh7gck to give and give generously. If you don’t give to Ryan and Kelly, give to someone willing to adopt. God may not be calling you to adopt, but He may be calling you to forgo that new TV purchase and hand over $500.

2. Love your friends who adopt or foster (and their kids) in practical ways.

Raising a child is exhausting. Raising a child who comes from difficult circumstances, a child transitioning countries, learning customs, or dealing with post traumatic stress is a whole new level of exhausting. Want to know what can be even more exhausting than that? Fostering children who may or may not accept you as a parent figure. Caring for orphaned, abandoned or needy children is hard work. It’s emotionally draining, physically tiring, and not always immediately rewarding. Just ask God.

That’s why these parents need your help even (perhaps especially) after the child joins the family.

Katie Beth mentioned help she’d received from a friend concerning adoption loans and help from another friend during tax season. She said she knows a girl who always babysits at no charge for foster or adoptive families. Katie Beth is also a huge fan of baby showers for adopted kids.

Other options for showing practical love: hugs, texts, random gift cards, special treats for the family like tickets to a baseball game, mowing their lawn, bringing dinner.

The point: Make life easier. It is too often too hard.

Speaking directly about foster kids, Leann said, “Find a foster family in your area and love on them. Fostering is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s a lonely gig for sure. Take them dinner… bring them groceries, buy the foster child’s school supplies or summer clothes or baseball sign up fee. Just be a support. I promise you they need it. The job is TOUGH!”

My mom, a house parent at the Florida Sheriff’s Youth Ranch, says the most powerful way to help one of her kids is to volunteer as a mentor. While mentoring disadvantaged kids is always hard (the cold shoulder is pretty common for the first several visits), what these kids need most is to know they have people who love them, people who’ll stick with them even when it’s not easy or fun. She says these kids need to know the world is good, that people are trust worthy and love is real.

Too, don’t forget the biological kids in adoptive or foster families. Sometimes in all the excitement they can get overlooked. Lauren said, “It’s so encouraging to me when people continue to pour into my bio daughter. She has been ignored and shoved aside so much this year it hurts my heart. So treating a mixed sibling group equally is huge!”

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I'm a writer and Bible teacher (ex reporter and college English teacher). I've been writing and teaching about God since my first church Ladies' Day at the age of nine years old. I speak at events, lead Bible studies, and write Bible study curriculum and devotional materials.