“I feel like I am going to explode. I know that it is unhealthy to hold stuff in. So I just need to vent to someone. I don’t need advice, counsel or anything—I just need to express all of my feelings.”
I’ve heard such statements numerous times. In fact, I’ve heard something similar pouring from my own lips. Social media has given a new medium in which we can vent; namely Facebook. Just scroll down your news feed and within 15-20 posts you are likely to read some sort of complaining, whining, griping or venting.
But is it biblical? Is it OK for us to vent to other people? Is it innocent for us to just get stuff off our chest via Facebook status updates?
What Scripture Says.
There are several Proverbs that outline the difference between the speech of a fool and the speech of the wise. Proverbs 29:11 directly addresses our question: “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” Only the fool says everything that is on his heart. A wise person holds back and attempts to get clarity of thought and control of emotion before “letting it rip.”
Proverbs 18:2 relates as well: “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” It is only a fool that says, “I don’t want to learn or receive counsel—I just want to express my opinion.”
The Scriptures are clear, venting to our fellow man is the way of the fool: Whether this venting is in the form of typing out our feelings on Facebook, venting about someone else to a trusted friend, yelling at an imaginary person sitting in a chair in a counseling session, or letting someone know how you really feel about them.
Why Do We Vent?
Consider the reasons why we vent. Why are we tempted to go on Facebook and express our feelings? What is going on in our hearts that make our emotions so out of control? Likely, it is because we have a good desire that is out of control. We vent because we feel mistreated. Justice is not being served. We vent because we want to bring about justice.
Occasionally, we vent because we want empathy. We want others to feel for us and with us. We need people on our team. We feel justified when others surround us and tell us that our desire is good. And so we vent and rally the troops. We get people on our side against an enemy (whether real or perceived).
Why is this foolish? It is foolish because people are not our refuge. Yes, they can be a means in which God provides healing. But venting never provides the healing that we long for. In the case of venting, our bonding with another human is based upon aggression and not a humble trust in the Lord. Such a relationship is not healthy.
Venting never accomplishes what you want it to accomplish.
So what is one to do? You feel like you are going to explode. You’ve got to give expression to these feelings. You hurt. You are angry. You are anxious. Journaling might help, but you still feel like you have to give expression to these feelings.