How to Avoid Becoming a Church Sex Symbol

1. Spend more time on the inside than the outside.

The first thing I think of when I hear the term “sex symbol” is appearance.

It’s actually pretty easy to look the part of anything, especially a church leader. Depending on what kind of vibe your church has, you can dress appropriately and have the right hair style.

There’s nothing evil about style. Style can be an expression of who you are. Unfortunately, there’s a temptation for some church leaders to spend a lot of time on how they look or how things are presented and not enough time on the substance and motive of things.

Excellence in presentation is a good thing, but we have to make sure it stays in its place. Excellence can be a huge idol, and unfortunately, it doesn’t take much observation to see that the presentation of God in church services is being worshipped far too often.

As church leaders, it is so vital that we do some major, daily introspection of the heart. If our heart is in the right place, we will be able to lead our church to have a heart for God.

Have we gotten caught up in public acceptance and neglected our private, quality time with God?

Have we placed an unhealthy demand on excellence in front of the call to disciple?

It’s easy to appear righteous, but if it’s all about the outside, then we’re just being self-righteous. We can justify this with an evangelistic banner, saying that people judge by outward appearance, but if God isn’t the power behind it, then it’s all in vain.

I Samuel 16:7 says that, “People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” When God looks at my heart, I want him to see a church leader and not a church sex symbol.

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Gary Durbin
Gary is the Worship Arts Director at Redemption Chapel in Stow, Ohio. He is also a blogger and a songwriter with a passion to serve the church. He and his wife, Jennifer, have two children and have been married since 1999. You can follow him on Twitter & Instagram @garydurbin or on Facebook at