4. What else are they going to say?
What do you normally say to someone you just heard speak or sing?
- “Wow, that wasn’t very good.”
- “Swing and a miss. You’ll get ‘em next time.”
- “Great job!”
For all but the socially illiterate, the answer is almost always C. Many compliments can be filed under “Conversation filler.”
5. Sometimes it’s just nice to hear a different voice.
I have been the “other preacher” for most of my ministry, the guy who covers when the senior pastor isn’t teaching.
Even though I have served with several amazing preachers, everyone likes a little variety. For those of us coming in from the bullpen, a compliment often means, “You were different.”
The most dangerous comment for a bullpen preacher is, “I wish they’d let you preach more.” Keep smiling, but let that one roll off your back. If you store that compliment, Satan will turn it into discontentment and bitterness.
6. Don’t sweat backhanded compliments.
My favorite backhanded compliment is some form of, “You’re really improving.”
This bothered me so much early on in ministry, and I’d sometimes respond with, “So you’re saying I didn’t suck as much as I usually do?” That does not lead to deep friendship. This is usually driven by #3 above. The commenter likes this topic more than the topics you’ve done in the past.
A “thank you” and a smile is the best response.
7. Store the meaningful compliments.
A man I deeply respect used to send me handwritten notes giving me very specific compliments on my speaking. I keep all of those notes in a file folder.
I also try to keep emails telling me God used my speaking in a specific way in the sender’s life. I refer back to these notes and emails when I feel like a failure, like I’ve lost the ability to communicate.
When God speaks encouragement through someone in the audience, we should cherish the compliment as a gift directly from our Father.
It is not about my ability, it is about God loving me so much that he chooses to use me. I can live for weeks on a heartfelt compliment.
