Now, before you shrug this off with a sarcastic “whatever,” stop and think about it for a moment.
You want to get someone’s attention when they are mad at you or hurt by you? Start with the sweetest words most of us love to hear: YOU WERE RIGHT! We love to be right, and we especially like it when someone acknowledges our rightness.
Along the same lines, a person will lean into your words when they hear a genuine AND I WAS WRONG!
Nothing endears us to a wounded person more than owning it when we’ve blown it. You don’t justify, rationalize or downplay anything; you just own it and confess, “I blew it.”
But then comes the most challenging part of this relational interaction: PLEASE FORGIVE ME. It’s hard because this requires a transaction on the part of both parties. You are asking for grace and forgiveness, and the offended person then has a decision to make—to forgive or not to forgive. That’s why this request is far better than merely saying, “I’m sorry.”
The plea for forgiveness means you are asking to move forward without the baggage that typically comes with failure.
Of course, it’s essential to deal with the “uns” mentioned above. Without question, you must deal with the root issues to reduce the number of relational weeds that crop up. But the best path to healing and hope is to learn to use this sentence often: You were right, and I was wrong; please forgive me. (Go ahead, practice it out loud; it truly is powerful.)
There’s nothing magical or mystical about these words, but I promise you, they will change your relationships.
Not convinced?
Write that email or make that call (the one you’ve been avoiding), use these 10 words, and see what God will do.
What’s holding you back? What do you have to lose? If not now, when?
Just go for it.
You never need to wait to do the right thing in the right way to make a relationship right again.
Own it when you’ve blown it. Confess your failures and sins to others. Then pray for each other because that’s the path to relational wholeness and healing. (James 5:16 – Bubna Paraphrase)
This article originally appeared here.
