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3 Things That Blow Up Relationships

3 Things that Blow Up Relationships

I want you to think back to the last fight or conflict you had with your spouse, parent, child or friend.

Got it?

I’d be willing to bet that one of three things caused that altercation.

  • An unmet expectation
  • An unresolved issue
  • Unforgiveness

At the root of almost every disappointing and negative experience is one or more of the things mentioned above.

Either something wasn’t done that you felt should have been done (an unmet expectation), something irritated you again that resulted in an emotional eruption (an unresolved issue), or you became harsh and bitter (due to unforgiveness).

Add to this the tendency we humans have to stockpile our hurtful experiences rather than openly address them in a godly manner, and you can see why we end up demolishing relationships.

In this blog, I’m not going to address in depth the ways to avoid these relationship challenges. (You can read more about that in this book I wrote.)

The short version is to talk it out as you walk it out.

In other words, don’t stuff, don’t hide and don’t run from the tough relational challenges. Lovingly face them head-on (and get professional help if needed).

Unmet expectations, unresolved issues and unforgiveness have power only when we stop caring, stop communicating and choose to stay stuck. For the record, doing so always leads to bitterness, and being bitter never makes us better.

What I am going to focus on in this short post is what to do after you’ve blown it.

In fact, I’m going to give you the 10 most powerful words you can use to repair a broken relationship.


Here are the 10 absolutely most incredible words you can use after nuking somebody: You were right, and I was wrong; please forgive me.