I don’t hide things from her.
I could try to protect her, but I’ve learned she will discover the truth eventually and be more hurt because I didn’t share it with her first. Even when I know it will weigh heavy on her, such as a current complaint or rising criticism, I know she would rather hear it from me than from someone else. (And, you may not understand this one unless you’ve led ministry in a church—especially in a very established church.)
The only exception to this is that I don’t share intimate personal information about men I meet with in the church. I don’t want her to struggle when she sees some of them on Sundays. With women, this is the opposite. She may know things she doesn’t share with me.
Also, I always tell women I meet with that I include my wife in intimate conversations they share with me. I do this to protect my heart and marriage first.
She shares my office—and my life.
The best way I keep Cheryl involved in my ministry is we keep our relationship as healthy as possible. We genuinely do life together.
Cheryl has access to my office, my calendar, my computer and my wallet. She frequently comes to my office, puts things in my desk, and has freedom to everything in my “personal space.” (She actually has her own drawer in my desk.)
I’ve always told my assistants and staff they can communicate anything to Cheryl they feel is pertinent. We have no secrets.
I believe she feels a part of my ministry mostly because she feels a part of my life.
