C.J. Mahaney shares a series of powerful letters about modesty in the church today.
I wanted you not only to hear my heart and this exhortation, but most importantly, to hear from Holy Scripture. I also wanted you to hear from some men in the church. Different guys, who were students, took a section to describe what it was like to be on campus every day prior to transitioning to what it was like to be in church. One writes:
“Each and every day on campus is a battle. Listen carefully, ladies—this is not an aberration; this is not an unusual testimony; this is the norm. Every day on campus is a battle—a battle against my sin, against temptation, and against my depraved mind. Every morning, I have to cry out for mercy, strength, and a renewed conviction to flee youthful lusts. The Spirit is faithful to bring me the renewal I need to prepare me to do war against my sin, yet the temptation still exists. I’m thankful God has created me to be attracted to women; however, campus is a loaded minefield. There are girls everywhere, and it’s guaranteed that I will pass some attractive girls as I walk between classes. I either have to be actively engaging my mind in my spirit—praying, quoting Scripture, listening to worship music, or simply looking at the sidewalk—to make it through unscathed. Many days, it takes all four to be safe.
“The thing that women do not seem to fully grasp is that the temptation towards lust does not stop for us as men. It is continual; it is aggressive; it does all it can to lead men down to death, and they have a choice to help or deter its goal. Consider this message my appeal on behalf of the men for you to help us deter the goal of lust in our lives. Sometimes, when I see a girl provocatively dressed, I’ll say to myself, ‘She probably doesn’t even know that 101 guys are going to devour her in their minds today.’ But then again, maybe she does. To be honest, I don’t know the truth—the truth of why she chooses to dress the way she does, the way she chooses to walk, the way she chooses to act. I don’t know because I’ve never sat down with a girl and asked her why. All I need to know is that the way she presents herself to the world is bait for my sinful mind to latch onto, and I need to avoid it at all costs.”
He continues:
“For the most part, the church serves as a sanctuary from the continual barrage of temptation towards sin. However, the church’s members are not free from sin, and there are girls—both ignorant and knowledgeable of men’s sinful tendencies. I must confess that even church can have several mines scattered about. To the girls who are ignorant: please serve your brother and have your dad screen your wardrobe. Ask him how you can better choose holiness over worldliness—he’s a guy, and he knows more than you do on the issue. And to the girls who don’t follow the pattern of the world: thank you a million times over. You are following Scripture’s commands and helping your brothers in the process.”
Another gentleman writes:
“Having said all that, if I could say anything to the women in the church, it would be this: First, there’s not a man I know that doesn’t struggle in some way with lust. If they had any idea what went through guys’ minds, it would probably vastly change the way they dress. Secondly, and I think most importantly, God has created His church to be a resting place for Christians—to be a place where people encounter God without all the distractions. It is disappointing when I walk into the church or an event with the church and have to deal with the same temptations that I face in the world. But I rejoice whenever I see a girl or woman who is attempting to serve the Lord and guys by dressing modestly. You have no idea how sweet and challenging it is when I see a woman who has decided not to flaunt her body like the culture shouts for her to do, but rather she has decided that serving the Lord and her brothers is more important. Glory to God for women like that, and let us be a church with men who are committed to purity and women who are committed to modesty.”
One more voice I want you to hear:
“At church—the one place where I might think not to have to face temptation—this is not always the case. When ladies that I’m friends with dress immodestly, it definitely has a negative effect on our friendship. When she dresses immodestly, it doesn’t make it easy to see her as a sister in Christ. There is a constant battle going on as I’m talking with her. Communication becomes more difficult because as I’m trying to listen to her, I am also trying to fight temptation. I also think some ladies just aren’t aware that even little things can distract guys a lot—showing even a little part of their stomach.
“I am so grateful for the friendships that God has given me over the past year and a half and for the godly ladies in my care group. I am so appreciative of the sacrifice that these ladies make to glorify God and to serve and care for the guys. I heard a story of one of the ladies in our ministry who went shopping and really liked a shirt she was trying on, but then she thought, ‘No, I can’t do this to the guys.’ That was the first time I had ever heard of anything like that, and it made me so grateful. It is such a blessing to have friends who care for me enough to be selfless and sacrifice what might look attractive in order to help me and other guys with sexual lust. I think modesty is so attractive and helpful in friendship because it makes it easier for a friendship to be centered around God and for fellowship to be unhindered.”
Ladies, you are to be distinctly different, and non-Christians are to come here and not be distracted by observing skin that should not be on display. Instead, they are to realize that this place is populated by people who are different—distinct. Not self-righteously distinct, but humbly distinct. And in these ways, we are to be distinct for our brothers who are saved, for the lost yet to be saved, and ultimately for the Savior who saved us. It’s about the gospel.
Now, here’s the good news as well—the gospel provides for forgiveness. So, for all who have been convicted through this message, I just want to at this moment lead you to the foot of the cross so that you might survey the wondrous cross on which the Prince of Glory died for the very sins that He has been bringing to your attention during this message, so that you might receive forgiveness, so that you might change by grace and for His glory.
Let’s not wait a moment longer—would you bow your head in prayer?
