Reasons youth leave the church is a challenging, often-discussed topic. Read on for expert insights into why teens leave churches and youth ministries after graduation.
We all know them—kids who were raised in church. They were stars of the youth group and sang in the praise band or led worship. And then…they graduated from high school and started leaving. What happened? How do we explain why youth leave the church?
I wanted to get honest answers from these kids. I work in a major college town with many 20-somethings. Nearly all of them grew up in very typical evangelical churches. And nearly all have left the church, with no intention of returning.
It takes very little to get them to vent. I’m happy to listen in coffee shops and buy a few lunches. Below are the most common thoughts I’ve compiled from dozens of conversations. I hope some make you angry. Not at the message but at the failure of our pragmatic replacement of Jesus’ gospel with an Americanized gospel of glory.
This isn’t a negative, “beat up on the church” post. I love the church and want to see American evangelicalism return to the gospel of repentance, forgiveness, and faith. It should be the core of what we preach to children, youth, and adults.
The statistics are jaw-droppingly horrific. Seventy percent of high school graduates stop attending church. Nearly a decade later, about half return. Half. Let that sink in. The American evangelical church has lost, is losing, and will almost certainly continue to lose young people.
Want to know reasons youth leave the church? For all the talk of kids being “our greatest resource,” and for all the fancy youth rooms and events we spend money on, the church has failed kids. Miserably.
10 reasons youth leave the church
Here are the top 10 reasons youth leave the church and our youth ministries:
10. The church is relevant.
You didn’t misread that. I didn’t say irrelevant. We’ve taken a historic, 2,000-year-old faith, dressed it in plaid and skinny jeans, and tried to sell it as “cool” to kids. The church isn’t cool or modern. What we’re packaging is a cheap knockoff of the world that Jesus calls us to evangelize.
As the saying goes: When the ship is in the ocean, everything’s fine. When the ocean gets into the ship, you’re in trouble.
I’m not ranting about “worldliness” as some pietistic bogeyman. I’m talking about the fact that we yawn at a five-minute biblical text. Yet we almost trip fawning over a minor celebrity or athlete who makes any vague reference to being a Christian.
We’re like a fawning wanna-be, just hoping the world thinks we’re cool. Our kids meet the real world, which mocks our “we’re cool like you” posing. In our effort to be “like them,” we’ve become less of who we actually are. The middle-aged pastor trying to look like the 20-something audience isn’t relevant. And the minute you aim to be authentic, you’re no longer authentic!
