Anecdotes often portray parents and student ministry leaders at odds, but both groups share a desire to see the next generation grow spiritually. Each also believes they have a positive, healthy relationship with the other.
A study from Lifeway Students and Lifeway Research explores the perspective of churchgoing parents of teenagers and those who lead student ministries in local churches. Both emphasize the spiritual health of their students and say they want to work together to see the next generation become disciples of Christ.
“For believing parents, a key goal is that their teenagers develop a genuine faith in Christ—a desire shared by student ministry leaders,” said Chad Higgins, coauthor of Define the Relationship: Growing a Parent Ministry that Brings Families and Churches Together, a book based on this research. “Both want students to grow spiritually healthy and mature in their walk with Christ. To align on this, we need to move beyond tracking church attendance as the sole measure of faithfulness and help parents understand and discuss terms like ‘spiritually healthy’ or ‘growing in Christ’ in meaningful ways.”
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Around 9 in 10 parents (89%) feel they have a great relationship with the leader of their church’s student ministry. For their part, only 16% of student ministry leaders say they feel tension with parents, while 79% disagree.
Almost 3 in 4 parents (72%) say they are willing to partner with their church’s student leader to help their student grow spiritually. Among student ministry leaders, 99% are open to partnering with parents for students’ spiritual growth.
“This research shows that student leaders in churches and parents of teens want to work together to encourage their student to follow Christ,” said Scott McConnell, executive director of Lifeway Research. “While these good intentions haven’t always produced practical momentum in the home, defining the important elements should help student leaders develop a more effective strategy of support for parents.”
Parents Perspective
Lifeway Research surveyed 1,001 parents who regularly attend church and have at least one child in grades 6-12. They shared hopes for their children, experiences with student ministry and if they feel they could use some help.
When asked their biggest priority for their student’s future, 2 in 5 (41%) say their main goal is spiritual well-being. Around half as many point to emotional well-being (19%) and physical well-being (18%). Fewer choose financial well-being (9%), having a profession they enjoy (9%) or relational well-being (4%).
Most parents place spiritual (71%), emotional (66%) and physical (60%) well-being of their student’s future as one of their top three priorities. Almost half (45%) say financial well-being, a third (32%) choose their student having a profession they enjoy and a quarter (25%) say relational well-being is one of their top three highest priorities.
“All the potential priorities listed for parents are good things,” said McConnell. “This is the tension that exists in every Christian home. Parents are forced to consider if seeking the kingdom of God and encouraging their student to do the same is of first importance or one of many things they want.”
Seven in 10 churchgoing parents (71%) actively encourage their students to be engaged in the Christian faith, including 37% who strongly encourage them. Far fewer say they leave their spiritual development up to their student (12%), share information about different faiths without trying to influence their student (11%) or leave their student’s spiritual development up to their church (6%).
Most parents feel their encouragement has paid off. Seven in 10 (72%) say their student often or consistently lives out a belief in Jesus Christ, with 42% saying their student does so often and 30% saying they do so consistently. One in 5 (20%) say their student has shown interest in following Jesus. Far fewer say their student’s beliefs lean toward a faith other than Christianity (4%), their student has not shown interest in spiritual beliefs (2%) or they don’t know their student’s spiritual maturity (1%).
