No, our example, illustration and standard in loving our wives is Jesus’ love for his bride, the church. How does the weight of that benchpress sit on your chest? Do you feel the impossibility of that? It’s one thing to love our wives. It is an entirely different thing to love her like Christ loves us.
I remember the morning when I read this verse again. It might have been after a fight. It might have been when I was wrestling with the selfishness in my heart. It could have been just a time when I simply didn’t understand my wife. I sat back and said to myself, I can’t do this. I can’t love her like Christ loved the church. This is impossible. I’m too selfish. I want what I want too much.
Have you gotten there yet in your own heart? Have you reached the end of your rope as a husband and found yourself incredibly lacking in the light of Christ’s sacrificial love for the church? If you have, it is a beautiful place to find yourself. If you haven’t felt that yet, the sooner you get there, the better. We must come to the end of ourselves and realize that in and of ourselves we cannot be what the Lord is commanding us to be.
Look to Christ, He’s the Husband’s Manual
What do we do when we’re faced with the impossible? On the one hand, we see the high standard and even feel a deep sense of calling to love our wives well. On the other hand, if we know ourselves well, we know we can’t be like Christ in our marriages.
John Owens writes, “One of the greatest privileges and advancements of believers, both in this world and unto eternity”—and in marriage—“consists in their beholding the glory of Christ.” May God grant us eyes to see the greatness of this privilege. How do we grow and advance as husbands? By “beholding the glory of Christ.” We become what we behold. Second Corinthians 3:18 reads, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.”
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By beholding the glory of Christ we become like Christ. That’s the key to overcoming the impossibility of a husband’s calling. As the Spirit gives us eyes to see the multifaceted glory of Christ through the Word, we are changed into that image. The husband’s manual of how to love your wife as Christ loved the church is Christ himself. He is the greatest marriage manual ever. Do not be stubborn and try to put this marriage together on your own. Behold the stunning glory of Christ’s love for the church and, in beholding, you will become like your Savior.
