Our consulting teams at the Lawless Group have interviewed many church members over the last decade. Sometimes, the grief (even tears) we see is difficult to bear. Keeping in mind that we most often work with churches that are struggling, here is a look at some of the most common causes of pain we’ve seen.
10 Common Causes of Pain Church Members Experience in Struggling Churches
1. They love their church, but they know they’re in trouble.
Few believers want to see their church struggle on their watch. Coming face-to-face with the reality of decline (and even impending death) is tough.
2. They’ve lost relationships because of church conflict.
Again, few people think that strong friendships today might someday be broken. When internal church battles turn friend against friend, that anguish can be almost indescribable.
3. Their teens and young adult children no longer want to attend their church.
Historically, church was one place that brought the family together. When next generations now no longer like their parents’ and grandparents’ church, church struggles then become family struggles.
4. They really do miss the good ole’ days.
Perhaps that’s because they prefer a different worship style or a smaller church—but sometimes it’s because they long for a day when life itself was simpler. Their concerns may be directed at their church, but their grief is often more about life in general.
5. They love their pastor, but something’s not working.
This pain is some of the most intense we’ve seen. Church members who adore their shepherd never want to hurt him, but they recognize a problem when the church is no longer following him.
6. Their good friends are now attending another church in the area.
Churches become “families,” and nobody likes it when family members move away—even down the street. If they move away because they see the remaining family as dysfunctional, the pain is even deeper.
