Home Pastors Articles for Pastors How I Found Out There Was Another Woman—And Moved Forward

How I Found Out There Was Another Woman—And Moved Forward

The moment I found out that my greatest fear had come upon me, I was sitting at a desk talking on the phone to a friend who had also been a co-worker of my first husband.

I called her to ask her if she knew what was going on with him. How had this man who had proposed to me—twice!—had children with me, and given me his name, chosen to leave me with no real reason other than “I don’t think we belong together anymore”?

Although I was very suspicious that there was someone else, my heart and mind did not want to go there.

We had seen numerous professional counselors, ministers and friends and he continued to deny that there was anyone else in the picture or in his life.

I wanted to believe him, but something kept nagging at me that there was more than what my eyes were seeing.

I asked God to reveal to me anything that was hidden but needed to be revealed. And within about nine days, He did just that.

As I called this friend and asked a bold question (“Do you know if he is having an affair?”) I honestly imagined her replying with some level of shock as she would say, “No way, Shelley. He is going through something, but he would NEVER do that to you or the girls.”

But she didn’t say that.

Instead, the other end of the line got really quiet as she said:

“I’m so sorry. Yes, he is.”

I literally had to concentrate on breathing in and out. I cannot even begin to describe the storm of emotions and thoughts going through me. Every nerve felt exposed. I wonder, if I did not have two precious little lives counting on me, what I might have done in that moment.

But God …

Moving on when he moved out was a moment-by-moment process of relying on God’s strength to get me through.

What got me through this and into a much better season? To keep this brief, I’ll bullet point some major “columns” that held me together while my world fell apart: