8. “The Lord told me ___________ about you.” This can be tricky, because it’s difficult to disagree with. God may indeed reveal things to you about your pastor, but especially if it’s critical in nature, it’s usually best to let the Holy Spirit do His own speaking to him. Some people use this tactic in manipulative ways, so many pastors never want to hear this.
9. “You need to deal with ______________ (insert difficult person’s name here).” No, YOU need to deal with this difficult person! Pastors often get “dumped on” to sort out interpersonal or family issues that frankly he has nothing to do with. Group counseling is one thing, but asking your pastor to go visit the disgruntled person that you offended is a stress for him, and robs you of the opportunity to seek personal reconciliation.
10. “Why doesn’t your wife attend ______________ (church function)?” Pastors’ wives are notoriously absent at women’s Bible studies, work days and retreats. There are many very legitimate reasons your pastor’s wife could be MIA, but again, you didn’t hire your pastor’s wife, you hired your pastor. She should be free to attend or not attend church functions based on preference, not obligation. And if she doesn’t come to anything, yes, there is a reason, and there probably is a problem.
