2. I am going to send you a sermon/article by (insert famous pastor name).
Oh, please do. I will love spending my afternoon trying to figure out which parts of the article you really wanted me to read and which parts you are saying contradict my message. I can’t wait. Can you send now so I can read it over lunch with my wife?
3. Why did you not announce this?
My bad. I totally forgot to be emcee today. Forgive me; I was trying to be pastor. I know some would prefer I spend more time in the bulletin and less time in the Bible. Are you one of those people?
4. I wish you would preach on…
Hmmm. Thank you so much. Feel free to ask the Lord to lead me in that direction. When I do preach on that, will you listen then?
5. I want to talk to you about (insert some minor issue).
So after hearing the pure, faultless and perfect Word of God, you want to talk about soap being out in the bathroom? After remembering the great sacrifice of Jesus, you want to talk about the bulletin being off-center?
Can you think of others things pastors dread hearing after a sermon?