Leadership is rewarding and definitely worth it, but let’s be honest, there are many days when it’s no picnic. Typically, those days have something to do with human conflict. Would you agree? And one of the most tension-filled situations involving conflict is leading difficult people who doesn’t want to follow you. So when that happens, do you know what to do?
Start with “Why?”
Leading Difficult People
There are many possible scenarios such as:
- You are following (replacing) a beloved boss or volunteer leader.
- You are leading someone who is older with more experience than you.
- You made changes they didn’t like.
- Your style is different than what they are accustomed to.
The best leaders take a moment for a “self-check.” That’s always wise before we consider someone to be a “difficult” person.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do they trust you?
- Do they like you?
- Do they respect you?
- Have you made the expectations clear?
- Are you investing in them so they can become a better leader?
NOTE: These questions are not meant to doubt you or your leadership. In fact, my assumption is that you are leading well. The point is that their perspective matters, even if it’s not entirely accurate.
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However, if you answer no to any of these questions, focus on resolving that first. The truth is that the best leaders can lead those who don’t want to follow, those who think differently, and even those who are at times difficult.
Keep in mind that a dissenting opinion, a disagreement about the course of action, or pushing a creative idea that’s out of the box doesn’t mean the person is difficult or doesn’t want to follow; it might mean they are a leader.
Good leaders have their own thoughts, ideas, and ways to solve problems. It’s up to those of us who lead leaders to harness all that into a healthy and productive team. Sometimes that means leading difficult people.
6 Practices for Leading Difficult People:
1) Utilize the lens of “different,” not “difficult.”
We all find ourselves leading difficult people at times.
Those who demonstrate traits such as chronically pushy, don’t listen well, only see things their way, can’t control their emotions, won’t change, have major blind spots, etc. Candidly, however, they are by far in the minority of the kind of person you would have chosen for your team.
It’s more often the case that the person thinks differently than you do, and because of that can seem difficult. As long as the leader embraces your team values, staff culture, and the overall vision, thinking differently from others often adds great value and increases progress.
