I sat at my desk, staring at my computer screen, with a knot in my throat.
I knew what I needed to do, but I was afraid to do it. I didn’t want to do it.
The Holy Spirit was impressing on my heart that I needed to find and forgive my father.
It was he who abandoned me at the age of five!
It was he who decided to live a destructive life that hurt him and excluded me!
It was he who never saw me play a football game – not in middle school, not in high school, not in college, not even in the NFL!
As I sat at my desk, I said something like this out loud to God, “He hurt me! I will not find him.”
Like the loving Father that God is, I sensed Him whisper in my soul, “You hurt Me with your sin, Derwin, but I found you. I’m rich in mercy and I have made you alive with my Son Jesus, so you can forgive your father.”
At that moment I had a choice: Would I live by faith or not?
To live by faith meant that I would extend the same forgiveness to my father that Jesus extended to me.
I made some phone calls to Texas. Eventually I found him. I then wrote him a short letter, seeking friendship.
A couple weeks went by, then I received a letter from my daddy.
I trembled as I opened the letter.
The letter said something like this, “Son, thank you for forgiving me. I want to be a part of your life and my grandchildren’s lives. I love you.”
That was the first time I heard my father say, “I love you” to me.
Today, my father and I are friends. Not too long ago, he dazzled my children with his skills in the game of Checkers.
I love him and he loves me, all because I chose to live by faith.
To read about this story more in depth, check out my book Hero. Click here.
Marinate on that,
Pastor Derwin
