Fifth, we need to talk more, not less, about sex.
Yes, the Song of Solomon is about a relationship and, yes, sex–let’s grow up and stop pretending it’s only an allegory. I know this is shocking to some, but let’s get honest. God is pro-sex, and I am thankful for the Song of Solomon, which shows that clearly. As Danny Akin explains:
The book portrays the deep, genuine love between a man and a woman in marriage. The subject of the book is quite obviously sexual in nature. The intimacy and physical pleasure God intended for a man and a woman is tastefully and appealingly put on full display before us. (Daniel L. Akin, Song of Songs, Holman Old Testament Commentary, 135.)
We should be able to speak about sex as the Scripture does, addressing the abuses and idolatry of sex in our culture, while calling one another to live godly lives where we enjoy God’s good gifts as well as the Giver of those gifts Himself. Talking more about sex should result in more biblical clarity and (yes) enjoyment. One of my favorite books that addresses this is Danny Akin’s book (in addition to his commentary above), God on Sex.
How do we talk about these things? Well, there is a delicate balance between voyeurism and helpful transparency. I am not sure how to clearly define the balance, but I think it is reasonable for us to set boundaries while still engaging in healthy conversation about the details of sex, not just vague generalities. Again, most churches I know don’t talk about sex, while the world mentions sex acts on family television and every third ad is for Cialis or Viagra.
Finally, there is an argument that persists which I’m not convinced of–that evangelicals are already talking about sex. This argument is based on the existence of evangelical books on sex–however, that fuels my point, not disproves it. These book resources exist because churches do not talk much about sex. Instead, pastors hand out a book by their favorite author and ignore the subject. Instead of answering questions, they say, “Read Tim LaHaye’s The Act of Marriage or Ed Wheat’s Intended for Pleasure.” (I might add that the graphic drawings were a bit of a surprise when I was first given that particular book.)
Books are good and necessary, but pastors ought to accompany their bibliography with a pastoral word in pre-marital counseling. Christians should be asking these questions, and we should be prepared to answer them.
So let’s begin with the idea that talking more about sex and answering people’s questions are good things, and God is pro-sex. When we start there, evaluating those who have done so is much easier.
This post was originally featured on EdStetzer.com. Used by permission.
